Made by Google… But Why?

As someone who is not what you might call a Google enthusiast, I always do my best to give them a chance to impress me. That’s why I follow theiir product lineups, and have made a tradition of checking out their annual Made by Google events each August when they unveil the new lineup of Pixel products. The tradition continued yesterday, and I sat through about 90 minutes of reveals that left me wondering one question: Who is this for?

Last year, it was hosted in New York City by Jimmy Fallon and attended by an audience that I often wondered if they were hostages by the way they acted. (Turns out it was just Google employees.) You know how well respected Fallon is in the tech world. Yup. It’s back in NYC this year, which is promoted quite a bit before the show began. Because…no one does shows from New York, I guess. This year, it was former The Daily Show host Trevor Noah. Yet another great insight into the world of tech, surely we all know his resume in that area. I’ll give Trevor credit for being a bit less robotic than Fallon was, and he actually made some of the Google people he spoke with lose their train of thought with some of his material and questions. But we’re here for the tech. So let’s dive in.

Pixel Phones - This year, the new Pixel phones include the 11, 11 Pro and 11 Pro Fold. I’ve long since lost interest in folding phones, so we’ll skip past that. As for the other two phones? Well…they have a nice camera. They come with the ability to translate ASL. This is where the questions began.

I don’t know who that feature is for. If you have someone in the deaf community in your family or friends, you already likely know how to communicate with them. If you don’t have someone from that community in your life, how comfortable do you think.a random person is gonna be when you whip out your handy new Pixel 11 and start recording them so you can understand what they are trying to communicate? So who is this for?

You can also now color code your contacts so when you turn your phone over…. the color can show on the camera bump on the back to let you know who’s calling. Google calls this HiLight. It was introduced by “world famous” DJ Peggy Gou. I’m sure you see the obvious connection between her and this feature. (If so, drop me a line.) I’ve seen people for ages with smartphones, and traveled to multiple countries in that time. I have never seen anyone sitting around in public with their phone face down. Maybe all of the ones who do it don’t go out in public much. But here’s the question this presented. If you’re out with your phone face down and you see the color code you assigned your girlfriend pop up on the bump, you’re still going to have to turn the phone over to answer it. So…what was the point?

They also now come wiht Magic Capture. In the demo, we got to see some people shooting hoops, in which you can let your phone record that to capture the best pictures from it. Great.

It was also during this part of the presentation that I was informed Google creates colors when discussing the colors of their new Pixel phones, including one called obsidian. I feel confident that color existed prior to the Pixel 11.

Pixel Buds - Good news, they have improved noise cancellation and come in “olive” in the new generation. What they call olive looks like something that would come out of your nose to me. The less said there, the better.

Pixel Tags - Are you familiar with AirTags? Because theese are Google’s copy of that. You could tell Google did a great job of making it clear what they are when their paid host looked at it and had not a single clue what he was looking at.

Pixel Watch - This is what they should have started with, if you ask me. It was the only product that caught my eye. Along with now being able to track workouts and set times and all for that, they now offer insulin Resistance. If you’re like me, you are curious how something on your wrist tells you something about your pancreas. I looked into this. Based on a number of other readings your new Watch will monitor, the AI will deduce from those things if your insulin levels are good. Now if you’re okay with AI diagnosing you, we are not the same. Last week, Gemini tried to send me to a site to buy a book that didn’t exist. So if you want to let it advise you on health? More power to you. Speaking of which, Gemini is no longer AI, according to Google. It’s just Intelligence. Based on my use cases, I wouldn’t call it high intelligence. Your mileage may vary.

Pixel Tablet - Ha! We don’t acknowledge those anymore.

Now did any of these devices wow me? Did any of them send me to my carrier or the Google Store to put down my preorder? You might have guessed from my tone that the answer is no. The only item of some interest to me was the Watch, but the more I dug into it, the weaker that interest became.

The fact they held this event at 6pm Eastern told me ahead of time that my expectations should remain low. That, in my opinion, is a deliberate attempt to cut down the amount of “day of” coverage it got since that’s the end of the workday for many. I could be wrong about that. But when other companies like Samsung and Apple have similar events, it’s most certainly not at the early evening more often than not.

This marks another year where I gave Google a chance to blow my mind and really make me start wanting their new lineup of products. They failed. Judging by their viewership on their YouTube channel, I was not alone in my disinterest. When I opened the page to watch, it was sitting at 5k viewers. When I left after a Pink Pantheress performance, it was a little over 100k to watch it live. They knew there was no killer app or reveal here. They telegraphed it by setting the event at 6pm. Then they delivered on that expectation.

You can watch the event here if you want. Yes, it was made by Google.. And it was a waste of time by me.